Where did you get a picture of my penis
another moral hangover. fuck.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
