The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
