I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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