Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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