I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
