wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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