would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
