My friends, they love my intelligence
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize