i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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