let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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