Whatcha textin bout Willis?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
