Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
