and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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