4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
And then he peed in my hair
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