All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
