I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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