i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
