I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
