but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
