just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize