I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
