Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
There r osticjed everywhere
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Randomize
