You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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