If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
do herpes really smell.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
