my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
i drank out of a bidet.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
