i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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