I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize