it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
