Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
