he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
