I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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