So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
