he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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