conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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