i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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