i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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