barbara walters just said penis...
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
i think my cat just said my name.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
