You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
