doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
