Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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