well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
