Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Randomize
