I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
