do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
