You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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