Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
