Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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