So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
