she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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