none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
