worst night to have a conscience
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
