Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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