She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
