God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
