he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
