You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Life is so much better after having sex.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Come share oat with me in your robe
You were trust falling into bushes
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
