I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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