We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
