you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I would ride that face into the sunset
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
