nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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