He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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