We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
