Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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