Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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