my mouth tastes like poor choices
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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