these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
How's work?
Spinning.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
