So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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