I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
