the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
this beer tastes like vomit already
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize