We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
