I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
